Buried Alive

A Muslim man in Egypt killed his wife and then buried her with their infant baby and 8-year old daughter. The girls?

(Are we uncertain of they were girls or not? Does someone need to have the talk?)

were buried alive!

(How kind of the father to not kill them too, just bury them alive.)

He then reported to the police that an uncle killed the kids.

(C’mon, it’s the butler that always does it. The butler!)

15 days later, another family member died.

(Well, at least he waited 15 days. Lets not act hastily in such situations)

When they went to bury him, they found the 2 little girls under the sand - ALIVE!

(Lucky girls that they decided to bury the dead in the exact same spot they were)

The country is outraged over the incident, and the man will be executed.

(So outraged you won’t find any news of it anywhere!)

The older girl was asked how she had survived. "A man wearing shiny white clothes, with bleeding wounds in his hands, came every day to feed us. He woke up my mom so she could nurse my sister," she said.

(Um…weren’t they buried alive? You know, crushed by dirt. Not being able to move and stuff. It’s not like they were stuck in a cave or something. And did he remember to bring some air and water along with him? They’ll kind of need both of those things to live.)

She was interviewed on Egyptian national TV, by a veiled Muslim woman news anchor.

(Veiled Muslim news woman. Just because the woman is being oppressed doesn’t mean she can’t deliver the daily news.)

She said on public TV, "This was none other than Jesus, because nobody else does things like this!"

(Jesus, he can heal and save your life, just don’t ask why he can’t heal his hands. He’s very sensitive about that.)

Muslims believe Isa (Jesus) would do this, but the wounds mean He really was crucified,

(Maybe nails are his kryptonite, like he can heal anything instead of injuries caused by metal or something)

and it's clear also that He is alive!

(He’s alive but only shows himself to little children. Kind of like Michael Jackson)

But, it's also clear that the child could not make up a story like this,

(If there’s one thing children are known for, it’s the fact that they can never tell a lie. Like George Washington but with less powdered wig)

and there is no way these children could have survived without a true miracle.

(And there’s no way this story could be made up.)

Muslim leaders are going to have a hard time to figure out what to do with this, and the popularity of the movie Passion doesn't help!

(Also, no news organizations have reported on this at ALL. They think it’s a “fake” story because there’s no “evidence” to support the story. We, they can’t fool us. We all know “evidence” is a liberal invention. Am I right, y’all?)

With Egypt at the centre of the media and education in the Middle East, you can be sure this story will spread. Christ is still turning the world upside down!

(Australia will finally be right-side up. I’ll start standing on my head to get used to the extra blood to my head.)